My Bible and Football

This morning didn't start off so well, first with disregarding my alarm at 5am which then made me miss my run (I try to run before Phil has to leave at 6am.) Then, with a conversation that left me feeling defeated and lost. After the conversation, I wanted to climb back into bed and just lay there all day. But knowing from previous experience that laying in bed all day just does more damage then good, I decided to do something else... I read my Bible. Now, this may or may not be a surprise to you. To me, it's a small victory that I'm very proud of. See, I love God and I love reading my Bible, but I have so much trouble with actually wanting to do it, especially when I'm down in the dumps--that's when I avoid it the most. I have always struggled with doing anything on a regular basis, so that's nothing new, but this is something that's so important to me and so necessary in my life so I'm trying my absolute hardest to be consistent about reading my Bible. I know it'll only bring me closer to God and help me grow spiritually. I desperately need God in my life and I desperately want to let him in, but it's a constant battle because I want to be in control. I don't even know where to begin in trying to let go. I don't like anyone else to even be a score keeper in board games, let alone trying to let anyone control my life! I know, I know it's not just anyone it's God, but still it's about letting go of that control. Anyway, I read my Bible and as of 2 days ago I've been trying to follow this plan where I'll read through the Old Testament once and the New Testament twice in one year. Yesterday, I didn't read (see my lack on consistency) but today I did yesterday and today's reading. It left me feeling great, as usual. God is just amazing. He knows exactly what you need, all you have to do is ask. So now, although I'm not exactly bouncy and smiling, I'm feeling refreshed and ready to conquer my day...whatever it may bring.

Speaking of my day and things that it may bring, I'm a little nervous about tonight. A couple weeks ago, I was feeling very spontaneous and decided to sign up for a women's flag football league. And well, the try-outs are tonight at 6. I'm super excited, but I can't help but feel so scared and intimidated. As many of you know, I'm not exactly athletic or coordinated! Yea, I like to run, but it's not like I'm great at it. I work out occasionally, not enough to say I'm in shape but enough to say I'm not completely out of shape either. The other thing that's scaring me is that I've never ever made it onto any team. I did track & field from 6th grade up until some of 12th but those are on walk-on teams and it's not like I was a track-star, I did it because I liked it. But during those years I tried out for Cheerleading, Kickline, Step Team, Volleyball and each and every time I was cut! Even in things like NYSSMA and DECA I never qualified to go onto the next round of competition. Ok, ok that was middle school and high school, but still that kind of stuff stays with you! Then of course, there's the many jobs that I've applied for but didn't qualify... Even at Verizon where I was really good, I didn't get the Selling Supervisor position I applied for. So my point is not that all these will make a difference in whether I make it onto a flag football team, it's just that all I've ever experienced is being cut! So I'm scared. I know it's not going to affect me enough where I'll shed a tear for it (and that's a lot for me, since I cry really easily) but I just once want to make it on to a team. Please don't think I'm complaining or wanting any sympathy.... I'm actually really excited about this new obstacle I've decided to take on. So wish me luck! :)